Running, Tripping, and Crashing into Adulthood

How were we all deceived growing up? Somehow we were all convinced that once we became adults things would be easier. We would have freedom! We could go out whenever we wanted to! Nonstop hanging out with friends and getting this money! And didn’t our parents and teachers tell us we were wrong? Of course they did, but they were lying and they just wanted to “control us” or “keep us down.” We were ready though, remember?

Now all a lot of us want is less responsibility. Someone else to take over the reigns for a little while so we can take a breather. Man, I was so ambitious and excited to be an adult. I knew what I wanted, where I was going, and I swore that college was gonna be a breeze for me. I mean, the last two years of High School just flew by for me, it felt like nothing even though I was taking the advanced classes. Some of them were even college credit courses! I can remember my first week of college and thinking it would be a breeze, and for the most part it was. Psychology got me though. That first test of the semester snuck up on me and beat me until I was black and blue. I had never and I mean NEVER had to study for a test before. Everything came easy for me, I would just review the material a few minutes before class and I would be a-okay. Not this time though.

I ended up passing the class though with a C 😕. Of course I didn’t learn my lesson though even though I told everyone I had. Second semester was horrible. I swear it felt like each class was out to break down my GPA. Of course it wasn’t I just wasn’t putting in the necessary work to be 100% on top of everything. Right when I thought I was getting it together though, disaster struck. Within just a few weeks I was robbed, got a flat tire in the middle of no where, had to call into work, and then my dad walked out on us. I had no idea what to do. My world slowly began to fall apart, fracturing at the seams. I couldn’t focus on anything. I failed my next math test and my next geography test which of course I was already doing poorly in both classes and this just pushed me to the point of no return. I couldn’t think of a single thing to write for my english essay, the only class I was excelling in was my Education class which I loved. I was put into a rough spot. At the current time I had a 3.5 GPA and I didn’t want it to lower because of stupid decisions and rough times. So I did what I thought was my only option. I withdrew from the classes I knew I couldn’t help, which was basically all, but one.

The worst thing about having to do that isn’t the embarrassment of knowing you failed, its having to admit your failure to your friends and family afterwards. It is so scary for me in fact that I still haven’t told my family. Yea, thats right. For the rest of the semester I got up every day at 7am and left the house so that my family wouldn’t find out what had happened. Pathetic right? The semester is now over and they keep asking about my grades and what classes I will take next semester and its stressing me out a lot. I don’t know what I want to do right now at this moment. I mean I do but I don’t know how to tell my family. I want to take a year off from school, which I know looks incredibly bad. Everyone usually does this before they start going to college and here I am wanting to do it after my first year. I just feel like I wasn’t truly prepared for what was coming. I thought it would be easy and I was so incredibly wrong. I miss being a kid, I wish that I had taken the year off and partied like my friends did to get out all of their pent up energy from high school. Instead I did that while trying to go to school at the same time and it obviously didn’t work. I mean I’m not saying that I want to drop out, I just want a year to be free without worrying about my GPA or homework or expectations from family members. I know my dad won’t care, he didn’t go to college. My younger brother will probably make fun of me relentlessly and I don’t know If my mom will Kill me or just tell me I told you so.

I wish that I had appreciated the time before I was an adult. Before anything too intense was expected of me. My advice for everyone who may be going through this situation soon or in the near future is to take your time. College will always be here, you need to take it at your own pace and make sure you’re ready for it first. Better to take your time and do great then to go as fast as you can and only be adequate.


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